Forgiveness

Near the beginning of this blog ministry, I wrote on forgiveness.  That was three and a half years ago, so I felt moved to go over it once more to see what I’ve learned and to refresh what you might have learned from that post.  There are also lots of new folks reading this (I’ll expand on that at the end of this post), so it will be fresh to them.

For the Christian, forgiveness is mandatory, yes mandatory.  Some of us believe we don’t need to forgive unless the person who has wronged us has asked for forgiveness.  Some think it depends on the degree of the violation.  Those beliefs are unfounded and counter to biblical teaching.

As I’ve mentioned here before, my father was abusive to his kids, more so physically to my brother and sister.  With me it was more mental, but it caused me to lose the ability to love and to trust.  When someone who is supposed to be the one you love most and trust the most is the one hurting you the most, love and trust just never grow.

A lot of years ago, I was teaching in the Sunday evening service at our church, and God wanted me to teach on forgiveness.  You can’t imagine how hard that was.  I spent the week before I delivered the message asking forgiveness from those I had offended greatly and in small ways.  I even needed to forgive my father for his abuse.  He died when I was 15, so I couldn’t face him with my forgiveness, but it was still important.  Most of all, I needed to forgive God for allowing the abuse to take place.

During that week, I learned forgiveness is much more important for the forgiver than for the offender.

¹⁴ Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. ¹⁵ See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; (Heb. 12:14-15)

I also found there are levels of forgiveness.  The level I offered was, I found, superficial even though it was extremely difficult. It turned out seeking forgiveness was much easier than forgiving others.  Jesus told us to forgive or we would not be forgiven:

¹⁴ For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, ¹⁵ but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matt. 6:14-15).

“How is that superficial?” you might ask.  How can we forgive any more than that?  There are actually two more levels. The next level of forgiveness is to wish them well, to seek to lead them to Christ, to wish God’s blessings on their lives.  That’s really hard but a good test of whether your forgiveness was full and complete.

There is a third level of forgiveness even deeper than this, though.  I’m sorry, but I’m not able to forgive to this point, but some are:

Now, we need to remember what the Jews did to Paul.  There is a list of the things that happened to Paul during his ministry in 2 Corinthians 11:22-28.  He speaks of beatings, of being near death more than once and many other trials that were directly or indirectly the result of persecutions of the Jews.  Paul calls this his “light affliction” in 2 Cor. 4:17 compared to the joy he will face in God’s kingdom.  But look at this:

3 For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh. 4 They are Israelites, and to them belong the adoption, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the law, the worship, and the promises. (Rom 9:3–4)

This is the third level of forgiveness, to be willing to give up your own salvation, if it were possible, for your enemy, for your abuser.  Jesus did the same thing on the cross when He asked for forgiveness for those who crucified Him.  Steven also asked forgiveness for those stoning him.

Why is this important?

Forgiveness gives the forgiver peace.  Not forgiving brings us only bitterness.  God wants us to have a life pleasing to Him, and as such, He wants us to live peacefully and without the burden of unforgiveness.  We as Christians, again, must be the models to the world for what the Christian life looks like.  If we are bitter and unforgiving, that is seen by others as worldly.

Unconditional forgiveness also influences the offender.  During WWII, Corrie Ten Boom watched her beloved sister die in the Nazi prison at Ravensbrück.  She was released from that prison herself after the war.  Later after giving a talk at a church in Germany, one of the guards of Ravensbrück walked up to her and extended his hand in Christian brotherhood asking her forgiveness.  She recognized him and froze.  How could she shake the hand of one of the guards from that terrible place that took the life of her sister?  God overcame her emotion and revealed to her Jesus had died for this man, too.  She shook his hand. You can and should read the full story here.

Let’s work to forgive others as God has forgiven us.  He has forgiven us of so much and sent His Son to suffer for our offenses toward Him.  How can we not forgive others?

— On a personal note, thank you for visiting my blog this past year. It has been another record year as God has brought this blog to over 3,500 hits from 66 nations. That is a rise of 50% in hits over 2020 and a third more countries. We have grown in readership every year since we began in 2017. God is good and continues to bless.