Anger

James 1:19-20 (ESV) Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;  for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Boy I lost it this week.  Our family car’s engine blew over a month ago, and I’ve been trying to get the manufacturer and dealer to do something about it.  I finally resigned myself to the fact they were going to do nothing and left it at the dealer for repairs.  The had quoted me a price but increased it after I had put down a hefty deposit.  I’m afraid this resulted in my foolishly sending an angry email to their service department.

I don’t know about you, but anger is sometimes a difficult thing for me to control alone.  God has to deal with me and straighten me out.

As is my habit, whenever something becomes a big topic in my life, I research it.  “Anger” is all over the Bible but is seldom mentioned in a good light, for instance:

Prov. 14:29 (ESV)  Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.

I found the expression of our anger has consequences.  We end up passing it along to others:

Prov. 15:1 (ESV)  A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

But, if we work to control it, we are among the best of us:

Prov. 16:32 (ESV)  Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

Controlling our anger is the hardest part, I think.  And how do we do that?  We do that by turning it over to God again and again, every time we get angry.  I found sitting down and writing about my anger and researching what the Bible teaches about it helped me cope and gave me peace.

I think much of what angers us is rooted in pride:  “They can’t treat me that way!  Who do they think they are?”  We’re not always angry at people, though.  Sometimes we’re angry at ourselves for doing or not doing something.  Ever assemble something and it looks more like a trapezoid than the square it’s supposed to look like?  I often wonder how many marriages “Some assembly required” has damaged.

Why is this important?

Still, we need to find ways to quell our anger.  A God who will listen, His Word that calms us, friends to talk with, learning not to blow up in the first place are things to try.  While writing about the problem and seeking what the Bible teaches helps tremendously, there is still the ultimate deterrent, the apology to someone you’ve been angry at.  As Calvin’s (and Hobbs) father would say, it builds character.

I make a point in my apologies (yes, plural) to tell the offended party what I did was not the way a Christian should act and to ask for forgiveness, you know . . . . grovel.

During the period I was angry with the car dealer, God kept bringing one Scripture to mind that I just ignored.  I enjoyed my self-righteous anger, so I wallowed in it far too long.  Here is the Scripture:

Psalm 46:10-11 (ESV)  “Be still, and know that I am God.

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth!”

¹¹     The Lord of hosts is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

To paraphrase, “Don’t sweat it. Just sit back and let the Creator of the universe deal with this.” The day after I sent my angry email and spent most of the night awake thinking of ancient torture tactics I might use on said auto dealer, he came back to me with a fix to our problem.  God had been at work while I was not.  All I needed to have done was to be still and know that He is God, that He has control of the situation and will see to it it ends as He wishes.

All day, He reminded me “Be still, and know that I am God.”  I pray God will impress that passage upon me the next time I let anger get the best of me.