Thinking of Leaving the Church?

Ephesians 4:11-12 (ESV)
¹¹  And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, ¹²  to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ,

People leave local churches all the time for lots of reasons.  Many have very little to do with their spiritual life.  Maybe the music is too loud or too soft.  Maybe it’s too modern or “those old hymns.”  Maybe the pastor said something, and an individual felt slighted or there was some personal conflict with others in the church.  People have even left churches because they didn’t like the color of the new carpet, the paint used in the sanctuary, even what the pastor and the worship team wears  Very seldom, though, do Christians leave a church because of something scandalous or doctrinal, and even then, I’m not sure there is a reason to leave.  The purpose of the church is to equip the saints for the work of the ministry.  If your church is doing that, there is most likely no reason to leave.

I was a member of a church where an associate pastor denied the trinity on two different occasions.  After the first denial, I talked with him after service to see if it was a mistake or if he really meant it.  He assured me it was a mistake.  When he did it a second time, I went to the board of elders asking them to correct him.  He ended up leaving.  My point isn’t that there are poor teachers in the pulpit but that we often need to stay where God has placed us and be part of the solution, not create more problems.  I’m sure people left over this “heresy” from the pulpit and didn’t give it a second thought, but leaving shouldn’t be our first response.   We are the body of Christ.  We are supposed to seek unity.

More important, I think, isn’t that people leave.  Christians will normally end up at another church where God can use them and where they will be fed.  What is more important is how they leave.

The new Christian might leave, and few notice.  This is especially and unfortunately true in larger churches where the loss of one-in-a-thousand or so new or infrequent attendees might go unnoticed.  This is actually a pretty major problem for the local church.  Keeping track of new attendees is difficult.

The mature Christian, however, is more problematic.  They are often looked up to and admired by many in the congregation.  When such a Christian leaves, there is a temporary hole left.  People want to know why she left or what she found distasteful or in error.  “Certainly a mature Christian wouldn’t leave over some of the reasons listed in the second paragraph of this blog!” you might say.  You would be surprised.  The old axiom, “The church isn’t a hotel for saints but a hospital for sinners” is true in so many ways.  The people in the church are not perfect and sometimes don’t act perfectly, even the experienced Christians.

Those of us who have been in churches for years have seen the letters that are sent out explaining some imagined doctrinal error.  We’ve heard the gossip of how poorly some Christian hero in the church was treated by leadership.  We’ve been in the Bible studies where a self-righteous prayer for the church’s obvious insensitivity has caused broken hearts.  Some of these are sincere.  Some are striking back at a church someone felt had let them down.  They are a source of division within the body of Christ.

Sure the more experienced Christian will shrug off the vicious ones and count them as attempts at division.  The church will often seek some sort of understanding and restoration of the unhappy congregant.  Some of these stories are so vitriolic, though, they are viewed with anger and disgust.  It’s the newer or weaker Christians who are often stumbled by this sort of gossip or parting statement.  That’s the saddest consequence.  The young Christians hear someone they looked up to left the church over some doctrinal difference when she was actually asked to leave because she was casting demons out of paintings in the church café (actual event), and the young Christians, too, leave the church or even the faith not having heard the whole story or having been misled by the offender.  The original Christian who left never understands the damage she left in her wake.

To summarize, if you’re planning to leave the church, ask yourself why.  I had a chief in the Navy who used to respond to every complaint with a pat answer: “Sounds like a personal problem to me.”  If the chief is speaking to you, maybe you should ask yourself a few questions:

1.  Am I being ministered to at this church?
2. Am I ministering to others?
3. Is the Gospel being preached and the Bible taught?

I had wanted to leave a church years ago and mentioned it to a pastor friend of mine.  He was alarmed and asked me if I was called to another church or just wanted to leave this one.  I said I was just unhappy and wanted to leave.  I have held his response as one of the spiritual maxims of my life:  “You don’t leave a church unless you are clearly called elsewhere.”

I know the readers of this blog are mostly happy with the churches they attend.  Just sock this away in case you later become disillusioned with your church.  It might clear up a lot of confusion and help you decide the path to follow. Compare your reason for leaving with the purpose of the church.